Lessons from a Newborn

Beautiful? Cuddly? Precious?

NOT SO FAST

The delivery is messy, actually kind of squeamish for sensitive people like me. The kid is covered in … well, I don’t want to think about it. And the screams, the pain, the hours and dollars that go into planning for this very moment.

And then there is the falsehood of thinking a rocky marriage can be saved if they have a kid – or two. Right. Let’s add a screaming bag of fuel to a blazing fire and hope it calms the nights. I am not anti-baby, I love babies. But I think they are pinkish, scrunchy, needy sacks of flesh that scream, poop, and repeat. You have learn to walk quietly, oh so quietly, so as to not wake the sleeping time-bomb.

And then there is the guilt that you as parents are never prepared, never equipped, never ready. When we had our baby (in the previous millennium), we thought we ready – bed, rocker, supplies, schedule, food, doctors lined up, car seat. But The best laid plans of mice and men …

Back to 2024 …

David Asher Estes arrived. Full of life, potential. Loved beyond measure. With a family that would be on his side forever. A brother that will love, pound, protect, and pick on for the remainder of years.

What lessons can we glean from this new life …

• Babies teach us to be more like our Heavenly Father – patient, caring, and not so selfish. Parenthood is one of God’s schoolhouses.
• We look at the new child, first-second-tenth, and realize our life has changed.
• Every kid is different, just like every human being is unique. Oh, looks may be close, genetics may be obvious, and family traits may stick out (big ears, cleft chin, etc.) but each of us are unique.
• Each kid, and each parent, learns at their own pace. Sammy walked on his 1st birthday. Dash may do it sooner or later, be patient. Same with potty training. They will learn. Very few teens still walk around in diapers. Me, I am still learning to change diapers, a skill learned quicker by my wife.
• We need to learn a new level of quiet. Let’s do nothing to wake the child, or the mother. So keep the floor free from Legos to avoid that unscheduled loud expression of shock.
• It’s okay to ask for help. Yes, it takes a village.
• It’s okay to do nothing. Just sit, enjoy the time. Be thankful for the quiet and boring moments. The older they grow the less these moments come around.
• Photos are great, but caution in over indulging and over exposing. Think of what that kid will be embarrassed about ten years from now. What would embarrass you if the picture was of you? Also, the new trend photo or video document the birth is something I don’t get. Not against it – just not my cup of tea. Crazy Parents – everywhere.
• But some memories do need to be saved. Journal – write emails to the kid. Create an email account for the kid and write letters to them. They can get 20 years later but they are saved for posterity. A set of journals will work too. But save these moments and thoughts for later. Not too sappy. Not too mushy. But loving and caring.
• We don’t have to be perfect to be perfect for our kid.

Parenthood is one of God’s schoolhouses

I am over 1000 miles away. I can’t be there for them, for the grandkids and their parents, like I truly would love. My guilt turns into overcompensating by buying stuff. They enjoy that and I feel better. Poorer, but better.

So, even this old dog can learn new tricks. And speaking of photos. I close with more photos of my grandkids, that is the topic of today’s muddy shoes, isn’t it?