What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate

It’s a classic line from a great movie. It’s nine words that speak volumes. And it is amazing how this is more than just a line from a movie, it is problem in our society. To be fair, the concept of communication problems go backs millennia, and even can be connected to God as He caused multiple languages due to the arrogant effort of men in their Tower of Babel fiasco. (Go to Genesis 11 to hear that story.)

the Niagara Institute talks of 10 common barriers to communication …

1. Poor listening
2. Unnecessary use of jargon
3. Distractions
4. Mismatched communication styles
5. Bad timing
6. Unresolved conflict
7. Too much or too little information
8. Poor manners
9. Cultural differences
10. Language barriers

This is real. Think of these. Poor listening … We think it’s all about us and others don’t really matter. Unnecessary use of Jargon – and this is so true, whether by regional dialect and idioms or by culture. Major examples of this in church life exist as we speak ‘christianese’ words that society doesn’t always get.

In early days of the church – many thought christians were cannibals. We drank the blood. We ate the body. yuck, but not yuck.

Poor manners – how often to we act rude … or ignore others for acting rude?

For me, a biggie is distractions … ‘squirrel’ is part of my way of life.

Instead of focusing on what barriers there are, let’s give a few points on improving communication. Now as a pastor/preacher, I get inundated with articles and input on improving my style and sermon presentations. But this is more about regular communication. This might even include about the communication from church to church members.

Communication specialists estimate that it takes telling a message 16 times for the information to spread throughout an organization. That number may seem like overkill, but it rarely is.

16 time! SIXTEEN?

So here are a few verses that might give some insight …

• Sometimes silence is preferred … Proverbs 10:19 – “Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.”
• Listen before speaking … Proverbs 18:13 – “To answer before listening — that is folly and shame.” … “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:19-20).
• Kindness, Gentleness & Grace should be what defines our words … Proverbs 12:25 – “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” … Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” … Proverbs 16:24 – “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
• Keep in mind, God listens and knows all our words …Psalm 19:14 – “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”
• Don’t lie, deceive or speak manipulative … Ephesians 4:25 – “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor…”
• Put yourself in their shoes, consider what they are going through … “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble” (1 Peter 3:8).

Here are some basic principles …

• Say Less, but be intentional in your words … typical listeners only take so much in before they shut down, cut off, tune out. Me, growing up, and still now … I like short and to the point phone calls. I prefer tweets in so many lines verses a paragraph after paragraph verbal diarrhea found on other social media. As a pastor, I normally do about 30-40 minutes, but it’s about under 15 minutes sections that connect.
• Talk with the presumption the listener doesn’t get your idioms, jargon, or inside-verbiage … try to answer questions upfront, questions people who don’t know you would not understand
• Put yourself in their shoes … thank about what they want to hear, what motivates them, what would draw their attention.
• Care about what you are saying … if you don’t care about the conversation, why should they. More important, care about the person to whom you are speaking. People don’t care what you have to say till they know you care for them..

Say Less + With Greater Clarity + In Ways That Connect With People

No matter the medium, greater and clearer communication is important.