Why do we give a toddler choices?
We first saw how kids are messy. Next we see their attention span is somewhat, well, challenged. And we saw I, nay, we have the same problems, but God never gives up on us. And today, one of the biggest quandaries from my week of keeping my two-year old star of a grandson.
Why do we give a toddler choices?
Maybe it’s my hope to develop reasoning skills. Maybe it’s a fear I will choose an option that he will not approve and thus lead to a tantrum. Maybe I just want to torture him by making him choose against something I know he will like. Is it my Laziness? Uncertainty? Apathy?
Whether it was choosing a TV show? What do you want to do? What do you want for dinner? Let’s just take TV. Let me share some quick setting points …
- His parents limit screen time, I however am grandparent and rules are very flexible at Papadude’s residence
- Most of this is my doing, not Bubbish’s, for she is much better at this stuff … so he knew to play on my easiness to concede
- I did keep the options limited … Disney’s Spidey & Friends and Mickey’s Club House — and YouTube’s Danny Go
- I have learned the lyrics to Danny Go’s Fire Truck after 835,329 replays
So, he points to the TV and wants to watch Superman (his name for Spidey & Friends). So I give in to that face, that wonderful cherub-like face. As I scroll the menus to get to the destination, he sees Mickey’s picture. So he wants mouse now. I ask, mouse or spider? He says mouse.
We choose an episode and begin viewing. It is not within 3 minutes he says mouse. We haggle. We go back and forth … mouse-no, mouse-no, mouse-no, mouse-no. So what happens? We watch mouse. But before I get there, spider.
Wild ride we put ourselves through.
The same with food, music, and activities. Much of this is due to their attention span issues (see yesterday.)
I try to make it an either/or choice, two options only. But the waffling never ends. He would make any politician proud. I was told buy many parents not to give choices, except a ‘this one or none’ choice. That may be good in many scenarios, but it also is good to offer choices. Penn State has a publication that declares giving kids choices is a step to helping the kids grow up. It gives them a sense of control.
Psychology Today gives some guidelines …
- Don’t overwhelm them with too many options
- But also give a free-play time
- Be consistent in giving choices
- Create a ritual around the choices
- This gives a clarity to the consistency
- Ask them to help on solving problems
- Too many books on the floor? How do we solve this problem
- Thank them and reinforce the choices
Now to me (and you.) God has given us free will. It would seem at times that it would be a lot easier to have created man without free will. Easier, but not as God glorifying. Where would we see grace? Where would we feel the strength of the being an overcomer by His strength? Where would we truly come to realize we need Him?
I choose to follow Him, then quickly I go my way. I choose to exalt Him, then I seek the praise for myself. I want one thing, but then I am quickly bored and want something else.
What do I do? Keep my eyes fixed on Him. Keep that in focus at all times.
God created the world as He did and gave humans the freedoms they have in order to bring glory to Himself
In Romans, Paul shares this battle of the wills … I do the things I don’t want to do, and don’t do the things I want to do. through it … it is His grace and love that keeps us. He puts up with our flakiness, our waffling, our wrong choices … and in the end, it is for His glory.
Paul ends the letter to the Romans with this: “To the only wise God be glory forever through Jesus Christ! Amen” (Romans 16:27).
“God created the world as He did and gave humans the freedoms they have in order to bring glory to Himself. The glorification of God is the greatest possible good.” (gotquestions.org)
tomorrow … ‘one more time!’ over and over.
Muddy Shoes by Todd 
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