Family

My DIL once asked me why she never really met any of my family? I answered, “Why?”

Don’t get me wrong … I am not ashamed / I am not mad at / I am not at odds with (at least I don’t think I am) / I am not in any major drama with any of my kin. What I am, though, is I am not near any of my siblings or the many nieces and nephews out there. We are pretty much geographically challenged. Not extremely separated (well, one was in UAE for a while) but we are separated.

We also don’t make a big effort to get together. We grew up moving a lot. We have no “home” to go back to. Grandparents are gone. Parents are gone. And we all acknowledge that this world is just something we are passing through. We know we will be together for all of eternity.

Now, we don’t ignore each other intentionally. We use texting and DM and email and even FaceTime. I announced the new grandchild, and even got a couple of responses. They saw the FB posts and also gave a like.

My wife gets with her sister a bit more consistently. Yet even that is about once a year. Her sister, my SIL, came to Fort Worth to see her great nephew and was accompanied by her two daughters and their hubbies. We stopped in Glacier NP to see my wife’s nephew working there.

But overall, we don’t see any of our family very much.

Is that wrong? Should I make the effort?

As I type this post, I am watching the 3rd season of Star Trek’s Picard. He discovers he has a son. Beverly Crusher hid it from him and now he is older and the target of people that desire major harm. Now Picard was clueless as to Jack’s existence. We even see in a flashback memory, Picard realizes he had met younger Jack. And when youn get Jack asked if Jean Luc had ever had a life outside of Starlet, Picard answers, “Star Fleet has been the only family I have ever er needed.”

This crushes Jack and sets up a dramatic relationship explored in this season.

I get it. We all desire connection. We were built for relationships. It doesn’t take a Gene Roddenberry creation for us to see this. Go back to an older writing, a Sacred writing. Read Genesis 1-2 and see this.

My wife and I have decades together. It goes without saying that though she is perfect, I have made many a moments … let’s say, dramatic.

Distance can cause … tension. History can cause … Shortsightedness. Egos/Personalities/Qwerks can cause … drama.

It takes effort in relationships. Usually, I go to experience and studies and experts in the field to gather insights. But today, I curiously looked at an Ai platform. What would a non-corporeal, binomial set of 1s and 0s tell me. And actually, here are some pretty good points of wisdom …

• Time together is important. Not quantity, but quality.
• Communication is critical. This can be text, in-person, anything. Making the effort shows you value the relationship.
• Offer support. Help out in simple tasks and help in arduous times as well. Be a foul weather friend … but also be a good weather friend.
• Celebrate milestones and be there with them for new experiences.
• Practice gratitude.
• Be patient.

Is there something on this list you need to work on? Is there a shortcoming you need to correct?

Relationships are important. Show it.

Maybe start this Weeknd by going together to church and even – gasp – sit together.