A Closet Extrovert

I am the fourth of four preacher kids. And we know that the baby sibling is often the outgoing, clown, and major attention getter. I have a T-shirt that says “Mom Loves Me Best.” I was very much an extrovert growing up. When I started dating Lisa, I talked a lot and she talked very little … which seemed to be a perfect fit. I was always the talker in class … one that annoyed teachers and classmates alike. I worked in sales, and it was quite natural. I can walk into a room and talk to just about anybody. But, through the years, I seem to have taken my extroverted qualities and hidden them – specifically training myself to try to remain unnoticed and in the background.

Maybe it is because I got tired of offending people, tired of seeing myself as a nuisance, and tired of being seen as pushy or an attention seeker. So, when I take personality tests, I find myself at odds with … well, myself. Maybe it has come with age – for I find myself tired of my ways, and I want to be more at peace with those around me. Maybe I can say it’s a spiritual thing where I want to decrease so He (Jesus) can increase. And though this is occasionally on my mind, sometimes, it is just isn’t about that at all.

So what do I do?

First I need to realize God created me as a unique individual. I should not doubt that my anxieties, my mental games, my personal identity issues, and my messiness ever catches Him off guard. He knows me. And He knows you too.

Second, and this is weird and awesome at the same time … He not only knows me, He loves me in spite of my messiness. And there is nothing I could ever do to make Him love me any more than He already does. Wow. That same is true for you too. He loves you.

Third, He is still working on me. The Master Artist continues to chisel and paint and mold me into what He desires. I am grateful He never gives up on us.

So, what does this mean to you …

– He knows you

– He loves you

– He is not done with you

What does this mean in your relationship with me? I never mean to confuse you, but I am still working out this whole extrovert, too much extrovert, trying to be introverted battle within me. As a pastor, I really desire to pour my life into where God has brought me, plant my heart here in Central Virginia, and I am easily calling Evergreen home … and I want the relationships being built, the friendships forming, and the bonds being made to be genuine and not overwhelming (which I often think my extroverted ways can do … it’s a bit scary). So if I seem to be shying away, do not take that personal and just see it as the internal dilemma of a mixed up extrovert.

And we will see where this takes us. I just love the unknown.

Till tomorrow … todd