I Don’t Have a Lot of Friends

This is not a pity party writing. I have friends, and a long list of acquaintances. I have had work colleagues and many fellow scholars along my degree pursuing and teaching times. But there are very few friends that stick closer than a brother.

My first is my wife. Yes, married to me. So not sure if she counts when the rule is ‘no way out’. But she is more than just my wife. She is my best friend. And I continue to learn more about her even after these years we’ve had together. It’s exciting.

I’ve had several really good friends over the years but distance and time seems to erode the connection. I blame myself. I move around – I stay distracted – I am weird – and I have chosen a vocation that isolates. A pastor often feels close to his flock but there is still a certain degree of isolation, especially when one is as weird and different as I am. But there is no Woody–Buzz connection in my life. No Joey-Chandler or Kirk-Spock. It even a Feed-Barney. The closest I’ve had was Calvin (I guess I am Hobbes) … and now some girl is coming between us.

Two days ago, I stayed at the hotel where I worked at for several years. What a joy to reconnect (though TikTok, Facebook, and other social media platforms have helped along the way). Last night … it was some of the wedding party people gathered at the Airbnb to catch-up and make fun of Calvin … the groom and center of the party. I live less than 100 miles from these guys, but we had to cross six states for us to gather.

I met some new peeps too. The mother of the bride. I am so thrilled Calvin will have more family with whom to share his life. And they don’t move around like we have, so maybe he will break the Estes curse of transientism.

But what does this teach me … and hopefully those that read this?

Make it a priority to spend time with people. To have a friend you need to be a friend. Life is too important to spend it alone. God said this way long time ago … it’s not good for man to be alone. In the middle of a week where everything was ‘good’ … being alone wasn’t.

I’m so glad Calvin has found this new ‘friend’, and I pray their journey together will always draw the closer.

So my challenge …

• Maybe there is someone from your past to whom you need reach out. Send them a message. Ask them how life is going.
• Maybe there is someone God has brought into your life recently that needs a friend. Reach out and make an effort today. It doesn’t need to end up as a life long buddy, but every journey starts with a first step, and leave the rest to God.
• And maybe you just need to let God know your isolation and loneliness. Know He is always with you but also know He cares greatly for you, even your relationships.

Tomorrow … a wedding day blog.