Getting Slimed – and a Marriage in Trouble

Pastoring has its perks … serving our great Lord and Savior, seeing lives transformed by the Spirit, watching people invest in things that matter for eternity, being blamed for everything wrong at the church, hearing every complaint and whining, (oh, wait, did I say those last two out loud?), and getting the last word in on Sundays.

But you are also the one who pays the price on some things – and yesterday, I got slimed, literally slimed. Our kids raised almost $600 for Alpacas in Ecuador and for an after school meal program here in our home town. And the group that gave the most got the pleasure to slime the pastors.

Way to go Green Team! I know you enjoyed this.

As nasty as it was, I did pleasure in sharing the slime with our youth pastor – and his beard made it all the more enjoyable to know he was there.

This picture lets me know I don’t want shave my head. I look like a pasty, overweight Gollum. And speaking of Gollum, I realized the following morning I had lost my wedding ring during all of this. My Precious, a ring I had just recently purchased to replace the one that hadn’t fit for years.

I feared my wife would berate me, scold me, or at least give me that look. Every husband knows that look. But she didn’t. She was very graceful. And when I asked if we were still married, she said absolutely. Whew!

I checked the slime covered clothes, looked under the bed sheets, dug through the couch – nothing. So I went to the yard spot where I rinsed off: Eureka.

There are things in our life that represent who we are – a cross necklace representing our faith, a uniform or badge that states our vocation, a flag-lapel pin for congresspersons, name tags, aprons, and more.

But those ‘things’ don’t make you anything. Wearing a ring doesn’t make you married. A badge can be counterfeited. And any one can wear flag-lapel pin, but security will keep you out of the senate building.

In my world, a lot of people put on ‘things’ or do ‘activities’ and think that’ll get them into heaven. Wearing crosses, going to church, being on a membership roll, having scripture tattooed on your arm – these do not make you a child of God.

Only one thing gets you there – believe on the Lord Jesus and receiving His forgiveness for your sins. Religious jewelry may state what has already happened to you, but it can never replace it. Good works and fruit of the Spirit should be a result of being a child of God, but they don’t make you His child.

Yes, I lost my ring. But I never lost my marriage. And when I texted a photo to my wife the picture of me wearing the ring back in my hand, her response says it all.