Cold Hearted?

We don’t grieve like the world.

This week, my wife’s father (age 90) had a major issue. He slipped over the weekend; and apparently, he hit is head pretty hard. Seeing no damage, he didn’t go to the ER or doctor. On Wednesday, he laid down for a nap and they could awaken him. Complications from the fall gave him an internal bleed on the brain. And taking him to the hospital, they determined it was inoperable.

On the earliest flight available, my wife headed out to be with family. She was with her sister and father at the hospital within 24 hours.

Now, some people have said I am bit callous and should have flown with her. I do plan to drive there this weekend and we will drive back together. I do have some key responsibilities this Sunday, but will head out within minutes of meeting all obligations here.

Now – I have officiated a myriad of funerals. I have counseled grieving. Attended family gatherings after a loss. I have had my share of being in the ‘grief zone’ …

And in general, I would be straight up to say I don’t grieve like most people. I would say my wife is similar in this. We don’t have a sense of emotional despair. I am not saying we are right or we are wrong, I am just saying we deal with it different.

Sharing from this point of view … let me give a few pointers …

• Grief is real. Everyone deals with it differently, but it is real. Don’t expect even siblings to deal with grief the same.
• We can learn from grief – humility, dependence on God, proper perspective on life and life after death.

Psalm 119:71,
“It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.”

• In times of grief, we need to be reminded God is near.

Psalm 34:18
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

• God isn’t only near, he heals. This is important.

Psalm 147:3
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

• Joy needs to be part of the equation – maybe the ultimate part of the equation – the Lord brings joy in all of this.

Get this … for Believers, death is a transition to a much greater place. And no matter the tragic way or disposition of a death, it needs to be seen through a perspective of joy.

I don’t grieve outwardly or emotionally, for I see all of it in the eyes of joy – a JOY that surpasses anything this world can throw at us.

In the middle of Lamantations, a funeral dirge, are these words …