It was a moment in time that changed every way she viewed her mother. One author wrote that she remembers the exact moment she realized she had changed roles with her mother of caretaker-nurturer. She was driving and her mother was in the passenger seat. At one point, the daughter had to brake suddenly. So she instinctively stuck her arm out to prevent the passenger, her mother, from flinging forward into the dashboard. The daughter looked at her mother and realized the roles of their life had changed. She never looked at their relationship the same again.
It was so much more than just this small incident, but it was that exact moment it really hit her.
Lesson One … Selfies with Granny
This past week, I had interactions with both generations that came before me and the one that follows. Let me begin with the former – my mother. It has been tough on her since Blandy, her husband, went home to the Lord. I know she misses my father, her first husband, who died over 20 years ago. But Blandy’s death hit her harder for multiple reasons. She struggles with grief, and her early stages of dementia make it difficult for her to get past even the beginning of the grief process … pain of loss begins anew repeatedly. Her loneliness and heartbreak repeats its pangs of despair over and over. I love her and call her (not enough according to my secretary). Now, not to be too sober here, she still has strong long term memory, she reacts well in conversations, and remembers all of us. She even remembers I am her favorite, well, maybe I remember that more than she does. I realize it can be so much worse. So I still know she is so blessed.
In all this, I am reminded to treasure the moments with people while we can, to never pass up moments to share love and make memories, and to take pictures capturing moments we share. For this I love the iPad and the apps that help share pictures. She can’t figure out the tablet she has, soo reading this wise and witty blog I write is out of the question. But showing her pictures while there is such a blessing to her.
Lesson Two … Swapping Spit
Calvin came in. And he taught me a lesson. Yes, the lesson was a bit gross and I had to put up with some bleckness. To what am I referring? All the spit swapping, suck facing, and over exaggeration of young love between the two engaged that were with us. Please. But you know, it was a delight to see the love these two shared. I hope he never stops opening her door, putting her first, and expressing his love unashamedly. I don’t know how her parents take it … but I don’t care.
The lesson hit home. Do I continue to show that love to my wife? Do I unashamedly profess and demonstrate my affection? Lisa was kind. She said she didn’t know of anyway I could show I love her more. I am not sure if that was a statement of affirmation or a command to please stop. I’ll take the affirmation point of view. But I do need to step up my game.
The son taught the father a lesson. Keep it up Calvin. I am eager to learn more.