Now, I am not sure if I am the person to write this. I have the perfect wife and don’t need to show grace to her for she deserves all the wonder and splendor that could come her way. But on the other hand, I have watched her for years show grace to her husband who definitely needs it … sooo, I will write this from a second hand observation kind of viewpoint.
In reality, we all need grace and I believe marriages should be a beautiful picture of a relationship that epitomizes, clarifies, and demonstrates grace to a watching world. Ephesians 5 talks about marriage as a picture of the relationship between Christ and the Church. And we all know His grace is amazing.
So what does grace in marriage look like? Let’s move past the obvious answers that it should be a place where Love is sacrificial, purifying, caring, and unbreakable. Let’s acknowledge marriage grace involves forgiveness, being slow to anger, praying for each other, and not being nitpicking or tearing down. But let me add some of my thoughts of basic principles to apply …
1. Instead of demanding, or even just expecting, to be served – be the one to act in service to your spouse. Take the initiative and serve them.
2. Love them where they are (messy, muddy, broken, and the like) – but believe in the best in them, and the best for them.
3. Building on number 2, be vigilant through the messiness of a particular circumstance and remember they are a son or daughter of the King. See the masterpiece He created under the messiness. Take the initiative to to help them be the best for the Lord.
4. Give a secure love. This is more than just ‘I’ll never leave ya honey’ but is an investment in their lives. How? Take interest in what’s important to them, celebrate victories and mourn losses together, talk dreams and future together, and more. If your invested, and they see that, that brings security.
5. Give your marriage a purpose. This is more than just attaching a subjective value … let there be a God glorifying purpose together. Some ideas to do this are doing a ministry together, mentor a younger couple together, reach out to shut ins together. Frances and Lisa Chan co-wrote You and Me Forever: Marriage In Light of Eternity which deals with this. Great book.
6. _________________________________. A blank line? I leave this here for you to think what will you do this week, today even, to show grace to your spouse?
Until tomorrow, be blessed.